Faithlaughs

Anticipatory Grief

2011-10-15T11:50:00.000-04:00

I have spoken with a number of people regarding my daughter's upcoming surgery. On the one hand, it is a fairly complicated surgery, with some serious medical technology being used. On the other, the surgeon is one who has done this surgery many times before. He is not simply reading the book and watching the procedure on YouTube. He knows what he is doing. There is great comfort in this!

But there is still this feeling of what I have come to label "Anticipatory Grief." For those who need a refresher course on the works of Elizabeth Kubler-Ross, grief often includes several stages. There are five that she identified, and these stages can come and go in different order or in varying degrees, depending on the person and the day (or hour, or minute...).

The stages of grief are denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance.

This can't be happening... (denial)

Okay God, why are you doing this!?!?!?... (anger)

Look, if I can just be a better person, this won't happen, right?.... (bargaining)

I don't know why I never seem to get anything done...(depression)

Okay, we've done all we can, this is going to happen and we will get through this... (acceptance)

The statements or questions may be different, but I have been experiencing all of these. Sometimes one at a time. Sometimes several gang up together. Occasionally, they are on a five minute cycle.

As I expressed to my colleague in ministry, "You know you are in the midst of bargaining and anger when you say, 'Okay God, that's it! You take care of her or I quit!'" For those who are theologically squeamish, let me point out that I know that God is big; God can take it. God is no more threatened by my ranting than I am threatened by Lil Bit's crying. (Although that is a post for another time about the breaking of the heart of God.)

For me, this cycle feels like grasping at control in the midst of the uncontrollable. We have done our homework. We have found a really good surgeon working out of a really good hospital that has a low incident of infection. We have prepped our support networks in our families, in the church, among our friends.

We have worked hard at treating Lil Bit like she is "normal," whatever that means. Mostly it has meant letting her set the limits on her activity, saying "no" and backing it up when she tries to go past the limits of safety, and dealing with the usual issues of diapers, bath and naptime.

Having done all we can, I am faced with the limits of all that I can do. I cannot guarantee her safety. I cannot wish her surgery to magically be perfect or unnecessary. I cannot add to the knowledge or skill of the doctors, nurses or attendants.

Part of the acceptance stage, with which I still wrestle, is realizing that this would all be true even if there were not surgery involved. I could not guarantee her safety. I cannot magically make it all better. I cannot control the world and conform it to my vision of the ideal place for her to live and grow.

Having done all we can, we wait and we trust. This gets a little harder as the date for surgery gets closer. But it also means we get lots of practice. And we pray a lot. And we get teary eyed on occasion. And we laugh a little too hard at inappropriate humor, just because we need the laughter.

I am reminded of two statements on grief. They are perhaps opposites, perhaps mutually exclusive. But they are also, paradoxically, both true.

The amount of grief we feel is directly proportional to the amount of unfinished business we have: what has not been said or heard; unfulfilled expectations, lost opportunities.

The amount of grief we feel is a sign of the amount of love we have for someone.

Yup. That about covers it.

Trusting

2011-07-19T22:48:00.000-04:00

Some of you read the blog that I (only very occasionally) write on with the Mrs., called My IVF (Irreverent View of Fertility). If so, then you have probably already read here that we have encountered some new situations in our lives, particularly in the health of our daughter.

Long story short, on several tests, they (being the doctors) have had trouble tracking her pulmonary arteries. The reason for this has apparently come to light in the latest CT scan. She doesn't have a left pulmonary artery. Turns out, it is hard to find if it is not there. It also turns out to be a very rare condition, and even rarer for it to be the left pulmonary artery. We have follow up visits with really good pediatric cardiologists scheduled, and they are checking with multiple colleagues. And Lil Bit is asymptomatic, and thriving quite nicely.

Thus the "roller coaster" that the Mrs. refers to in her post.

For me, the whole adventure of having our daughter, from the craziness of dealing with infertility, to the amazing joy at her birth, from the feelings of total inadequacy in knowing how to take care of a kid to the moments of sheer grace while holding her, all of it has been an exercise in trust.

While I am having some difficulty finding the right words, I think the closest I can come is to say I am trusting that God will give us what we need to handle what we need to handle. Sometimes that is in inner courage during difficult moments. Sometimes it is the love of an amazing church community. It has shown up in the form of a Facebook community that offers stories of courage and grace, of hope and support. It comes in the form of the love of our families.

Having started this journey as an exercise in trust, now it is becoming an exercise in remembrance. My job now is to remember that this trust is well placed and, as our choir sings near the end of every choir season:

He never failed me yet!

Thank you to each one of you amazing reminders of the love of God.

Time to Join the 21st Century

2011-07-13T11:03:00.001-04:00

Having started a blog, and then promptly ignored it more often than not, I am now borrowing the idea of Randy Hammer, pastor of the United Church, Chapel-on-the-Hill (my home church) and blogging selected sermons here on the Interwebs.

My sermon blog is called Phil's Pulpit, and it can be found at http://uccpulpit.blogspot.com/

Y'all come!

Reality Checks

2010-06-25T10:22:00.004-04:00

A recent conversation brought up the idea of reality checks. Reality checks are those things, people, or events that bring me to realize that there are things I am not seeing, not acknowledging, not taking into account as I make my daily decisions.

I am fairly good at noticing things what other people are avoiding noticing in their own behavior or beliefs. I can spot someone else's denial or self-deception at ten to twenty paces.

But my own? Not so much.

Like when I am given as a gift by the Men's Group at the church a little book called "Meditations for Men Who Do Too Much." Sure, it was well intentioned, even if it was off base. It was off base, right?

Recently I woke the Mrs. and asked her to drive me to the local ER. I was having chest pain, worse than any bouts of reflux I had ever had, and all the usual remedies for heartburn weren't working.

After a night's stay in the hospital, with a follow-up stress test, and some other stuff, my ticker is just fine. The problem was/is gastritis. Too much acid in the stomach. A problem that can lead to reflux and esophageal spasms, which mimic heart attacks, as the heart and this part of the esophagus use the same nerve cluster for pain.

(Before all the messages come in, yes I know that a reflux attack this time does not mean that next time isn't heart problems. They share the same nerves after all. This is why I went for the stress test and the follow-up doctor's appointment.)

All of this, and some pestering by family members who know my family's heart history, have been a massive reality check for me.

I know that I have a stressful job, between pastoring and chaplaincy, and that a baby on the way (see here for more on that topic) does not lower the stress. My blind spot was my lack of adding enough appropriate coping behaviors.

Some things I have started doing include:

1. Saying "no." I have recently been asked to hold an office of leadership within the Association (a regional body within the United Church of Christ), to chair a committee within the association on which I serve, as well as several other things. All of these positions are important. I have something to offer in each of these positions. I am not saying I am the best person for each of these, but I could do some good in them. Instead, I have declined. My plate is full. There are enough things of importance to which I have agreed. To spread myself any thinner would require me to lose focus on what I am already doing.

2. Getting people I trust to help hold me accountable. Some of these folks are already people I have been in conversation with. But I am now ready to hear them when they speak of rest, sabbath, exercise, etc.

3. Practicing what I preach. This is perhaps the hardest: admitting that I have been doing a poor job at those things I counsel others to do. So when I preach on keeping the Sabbath, I need to go back and reread the sermon and not merely be a speaker or hearer of the word, but a doer as well.

4. Prayer. I pray all the time. I have a list of people I pray for. I have times of leading prayer just about every time the church gathers. But do I listen? Do I cultivate the silence I so easily commend to others? The answer is no. Now it is time to work on it.

Throughout all of this, I am thankful to those who love me enough to continue knocking upon my hard head until I finally answer. I am thankful that my ER reality check was not as serious as it could have been.

What remains is to do the work of doing less work. If I figure that out, I will let you know.

A Change in Thinking

2010-06-17T10:20:00.002-04:00

I have loved preaching ever since I started. Researching, meditating, writing, teaching, storytelling, connecting with a congregation, and all the other pieces of preaching are things I truly enjoy.

I am coming to realize that my preaching has changed over the past few years.

When I first started, I wanted to give people a message, and have them receive it the way I intended it. I wanted control over the message I was preaching. I would work hard to craft a well-turned phrase, and try to deliver it "just so" to move people to see things how I see them.

Now I am more interested in inspiring people. I am letting go of the futile effort to insure that the message is received as transmitted, and trying more to deliver something that will spark the faithful imagination and creativity of those who hear.

Where this is leading, I cannot tell yet. But it is enjoyable to see a difference in how I am walking this journey.

Quoting Uncle Walt

2010-04-12T08:52:00.002-04:00

Found amidst the Interwebs, thanks to Wedgewood Baptist Church in Charlotte, NC:

We are, all of us, children of the biblical text. We have been conceived and birthed, generated and summoned, given life, by this text and none other. This text keeps having its say among us, by translation and interpretation, by commentary and proclamation, by study and enactment. We must always again, always afresh in every circumstance, come to terms with it.

We spend our life struggling with this text, sometimes struggling for the text, sometimes struggling against the text. The text always has its say among us; it will not go away. Its voice is a haunting one, sounding promises, uttering commands, voicing stories, proclaiming oracles, ejaculating pain, authoring hope. The voice of the text haunts us because we know very well it is a human text filled with endless critical problems—and yet we hear in
it the very voice of God: majestic sovereignty, awesome holiness, passionate grace, weakness made strong.

Because of this text, which will not go away or finally keep silent, we live haunted lives, filled with yearnings for what is not in hand, promises not yet filled, commands not yet obeyed, desires not yet granted, neighbors not yet loved. The old text becomes new text; old story becomes new song. For all those reasons, in gratitude and awe and fresh resolve, we celebrate the new, revised translation, made freshly aware by it that we are indeed haunted children of this haunting text.

And because the text will not go away or be silent, we are destined to be endlessly haunted, uneasy, restless, and on the way.

-Walter Brueggemann

Advent moments

2009-12-08T13:53:00.007-05:00

Mary Oliver is a poet who has won national awards as well as my own admiration. At one point I had heard she had passed away, and was greatly saddened by the news, but now discover that such news was premature and "greatly exagerated," as Mark Twain would say. My relief is bested only by my gratitude.

In a recent collection, called Red Bird, Oliver writes the following

Of The Empire

We will be known as a culture that feared death
and adored power, that tried to vanquish insecurity
for the few and cared little for the penury of the
many. We will be known as a culture that taught
and rewarded the amassing of things, that spoke
little if at all about the quality of life for
people (other people), for dogs, for rivers. All
the world, in our eyes, they will say, was a
commodity. And they will say that this structure
was held together politically, which it was, and
they will say also that our politics was no more
than an apparatus to accommodate the feelings of
the heart, and that the heart, in those days,
was small, and hard, and full of meanness.

I think she has much of the state of our current situation well in hand. Similarly, Luke had the situation well in hand when he wrote in his Gospel

In those days a decree went out from Caesar Augustus that all the world should be enrolled. This was the first enrollment, when Quirinius was governor of Syria.

And it is into this Empire, then and now, that Christ comes at Christmas, with a message and a life beyond that which empire can handle.

Thanks be to God. Amen.

Health Care as a Commodity?

2009-09-18T15:20:00.004-04:00

It occurred to me during a recent discussion around the currently debated health care reforms, that underlying the current debates are assumptions that rarely see the light of day.

On the one hand, arguments for current means of health care provision look at health care, in the form of insurance and access to facilities/medication, as a commodity. Like all commodities, it is to be valued according to the market, as mediated by insurance companies, legislation, and other factors. It is to be used by those who can afford it, who will hoard it if possible.

This commodity is sometimes in the form of an employee benefit. Like the use of the company car, if one loses one's job due to illness, or if one's employer can no longer afford it, one must do without or pay for one's own.

Those who cannot afford either insurance or out-of-pocket health care have few nets in place to catch them. One of the big ones is the local Emergency Room, which is required to assess and stabilize, though not necessarily treat, serious medical conditions. For hospitals which are required to offer treatment, usually a county hospital ER is required. The use of an ER as a primary health care provider often means putting off getting timely care, and runs up the cost to the hospital and to the taxpayer through otherwise nonrecoverable expenditures.

Under the commodity model, there is only so much to go around, so providing for more means less for me.

There is another assumption at work within the discussions of those seeking reform. Adequate basic health care is not a commodity but a fundamental human right. As a recent Facebook meme put it:

No one should have to die because they cannot afford health care. No one should go broke because they got sick.

Here is where the underlying assumptions clash. The commodity idea is intimately linked to capitalism, which in our time expresses itself in rapacious acquisition, rabid individualism and sees limits upon the available amount of any given commodity out there. So attempts to move beyond current models get labeled socialism and the specter of rationing is invoked. The human rights view of health care is intimately linked to community based thinking and a view of being one's brother's keeper which flies in the face of the ideals of individual achievement and control of commodities.

So the question for us in our time, is health care a commodity or a basic human right? Similar questions are also being asked of related areas, such as clean water, clean air?

In the U.S., much of the church has overly allied itself with capitalism. It often seeks to offer better ways for people to cope with the pressures of achieving individually, and strategies for more personal acquisition. Preaching on God's commandments are often limited to those which deal with individual sins, and we have a particular fondness of focusing on sex, usually someone else's.

However, we find that when the prophets speak to Israel for "three sins and for four," quite often they are being condemned for idolatry. This idolatry is intimately linked to not caring for the poor, the widow, the orphan, the foreigner in their midst. Such prophetic oracles, so often quoted around end of the world ideas, speak far more plainly and openly about taking care of those in need.

Jesus spoke of the purpose of following him as the love of God and the love of neighbor, acted out in concrete ways and with real bread, real care, and real relationships.

The apostles took caring for people as a matter of life and death in ways that the church has never been able to muster the guts to replicate since.

I believe if we are to be faithful as Christians, then health care has to be much more than a commodity to be used by those who can afford it and hoarded against those who cannot.

Unless we want to be Egypt, Babylon, or Rome. And by my reading of the Bible, those empires don't fare too well.

Borrowed Words: Donald's Worries

2009-08-18T11:10:00.002-04:00

I am borrowing from the church newsletter article written by my successor at a previous church. Then again, she borrowed from Erma Bombeck. Who in turn was borrowing from a young boy named Donald who was worried about school. So I don't feel too bad about borrowing.

My name is Donald, and I don't know anything. I have new underwear, a loose tooth, and I didn't sleep last night because I'm worried. What if the bell rings and a man yells, "Where do you belong" and I don't know? What if the trays in the cafeteria are too tall for me to reach? What if my loose tooth comes out when we have our heads down and supposed to be quiet? Am I supposed to bleed quietly? What if I splash water on my name tag and my name disappears and no one knows who I am?

How often do we feel this way in church?

How often do those who have no church background or a different background than ours feel like this?

How often do we assume we are supposed to bleed quietly, not let anyone know our hurt, our pain, our brokenness?

How often do we assume no one will know our name?

Donald's worries about the start of school are all too real for way too many people who need a kind and gentle welcome into church.

Uneven Steps

2009-08-04T11:19:00.002-04:00

It seems strangely right that the bed and breakfast has such uneven floors and stairways. It is an old building, which has surely settled over many years. And we are taking new steps into strange and uncertain territory as we listen to Brueggemann extol the radical interpretive moves made in Deuteronomy, and so in our faith and preaching, so having uneven steps just makes sense.

Unmetered Worship pt. 2

2009-08-03T21:27:00.002-04:00

Building on some of my thoughts in this post, I was listening to Walter Brueggemann field questions this morning, one of which was on the state of contemporary worship and "praise music" (whatever that is). He was asked what he thought of it, and he responded, "I'm an old guy, so I don't like it."

We laughed, and many of those in his same demographic nodded agreement.

He then went on to treat it with some seriousness, and said he saw two problems with praise music as it is currently being done:

1. It does not draw us back into the narrative of faith.

and

2. It is too easily tempted to slide into entertainment.

The first objection is a difficulty not realized by many parishioners of many churches, probably because many of the pastors have failed to frame worship as a draw back into, a foretaste of, a practice of, a recitation of the narrative of faith.

The second objection is to let worship become even more consumeristic than it has already become, and let whim and style rule over substance and deep meaning.

BUT,

What if new music were written in the style of current musical sensibilities, but drew us more deeply into faith narrative, and did so with an intentionality that precluded it being mere entertainment?

What if liturgy were made a living and active force for faith development again (with apologies to those churches for which is already is), and we held these warnings in mind regardless of what we are doing?

I think such music is possible, and hope to be further inspired in its creation.

Is that Isaac Watts I hear laughing in the background?

Inappropriate Behavior

2009-08-02T13:32:00.002-04:00

Coming off of this morning's sermon by Walter Brueggemann (don't you just love name droppers?), and having lunch at a place where children got scolded for overfilling their cups at the drink dispenser, I started thinking about inappropriate behavior.

Why do children get yelled at in the grocery store, grabbed and furiously whispered to at funeral visitations, and generally scolded wherever they go?

Mostly, I believe, for acting inappropriately for their surroundings or circumstances. Running around playing tag is inappropriate for a funeral home. Indoor voices only here in the house, please.

Truly, I say to you, unless you turn and become like children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven.
Whoever humbles himself like this child, he is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven.
Whoever receives one such child in my name receives me; but whoever causes one of these little ones who believe in me to sin, it would be better for him to have a great millstone fastened round his neck and to be drowned in the depth of the sea. (Matthew 18:3-6, RSV)

There is not simply a suggestion that childlike faith is good, there is a warning that without some quality like that of a child, one cannot be a part of the new life Jesus is preaching. With it comes a warning to those who would exploit this childlike quality.

But what is the quality of a child being commended?

Perhaps it is the ability to be inappropriate. I do not mean licentiousness or self-centered greediness or meanness. It is the ability to give an inappropriate response that is of the kingdom, of the neighborhood (to use Brueggemann's term) that Jesus preached. I mean an answer that is inappropriate to empire, to consumerism, to the world that would have us be lovely little cogs and productive little ants and anxious security-minded people who are always at level orange.

A response of hospitality is inappropriate to a threat of violence, and yet it might be an entrance to a whole new relationship and way of being.

A response of joy in the midst of a funeral is inappropriate to "how grown-ups ought to act," and yet how many of us laugh at a memory of our dearly departed with her favorite hat on at a jaunty angle or with his favorite pipe doing a Popeye imitation?

A response of thanksgiving in the midst of suffering is inappropriate (ought we not be yelling that we are the victim here?), and yet Martin Rinkart wrote "Now Thank We All Our God," while serving the church during the Thirty Years War and the severe plagues and famine that followed.

A response of kindness, of forgiveness, of compassion is inappropriate before we secure our recompence and our revenge and whatever passes for justice in our minds and hearts.

Children act inappropriately, as if they don't belong to the situation they are in. Adults reprimand them, teaching them what is appropriate and what is not. We children then become us adults, well conformed to expectations and the ideals of our age.

And yet faith, obedience to the Gospel, often requires an answer, a word, a stand, an attitude so foreign to the situation of the world, that it is hard to give in our conformity.

If we would but remember that we don't belong to the situation or the expectations, we belong to God. And if we are faithful, we will act inappropriately. Not in ways that hurt or demean or damage others or our community or our common humanity, but in the ways that build it up and deny these very hurtful, hateful ways of the world.

To be like a child is more than simply being able to play. It is belonging to a family, a faith, a hope, a life, that disregards the demands and expectations of the world we all think we live in for the sake of the neighborhood to which and in which we all belong.

Thoughts about Sabbath

2009-07-30T10:01:00.002-04:00

Here are some random thoughts I have been thinking regarding Sabbath (perhaps notes for a future sermon):

Faith is about service to God, which also means service to the human community. But that service includes ceasing, sabbath.

The new community which is formed by faith is both about work AND rest.

Sabbath means:

To cease Production and Consumption
To rest
To enjoy
Re-creation
To breathe
Too often, it means to be released from a tight or confining place. In the Exodus, Egypt was referred to as "a narrow place." But how many of us have too narrow of lives the rest of the week, seeking openness in worship or in whatever we do on the weekend.

Keeping the sabbath holy, set apart from and set apart for.

2 Chronicles 36:21b - All the days that it lay desolate it kept sabbath, to fulfil seventy years. For the chronicler, it is a theological understanding of the reasons for the exile in Babylon as Jeremiah had predicted. But for some reason it sounds a whole lot like times when we work so hard with no time off until our bodies force sabbath upon us through exhaustion, illness or injury.

Jesus is Lord of the Sabbath: he healed, fed his disciples and all sorts of other things on the Sabbath which got him in trouble with the Powers that Be. But he also took time away, apart, far from the crowds and the preaching and the healing. He wasn't confined to the set schedule of religion, but he still took sabbath. My concern is that I find in this a justification for workaholism that promises to make up for days off not taken or interrupted or truncated or otherwise missed. There is always a danger of finding what I like in scripture.

Poets understand the Sabbath and the preacher's strange relationship with it better than most preachers do. Etheridge Knight wrote about writing 5,000 words one night about how writing poetry is doing something about the world, but his questioner didn't buy it, and neither did he completely. Robert Bly finishes his poem Things to Think with the lines:

When someone knocks on the door, think that he's about
To give you something large: tell you you're forgiven,
Or that it's not necessary to work all the time, or that it's
Been decided that if you lie down no one will die.

Healing as Revelation

2009-07-29T18:18:00.002-04:00

Looking at the relationship between individual and community forms of revelation drew me to look at the healing stories as revelation. I started looking at them as individual revelations. One person receiving the power of God for life, healing, new life, as opposed to the community stories such as manna in the wilderness.

Once again, my assumptions are challenged by the stories. Let us take the story of the healing of the man born lame in Acts 3:1-10 (RSV).

Now Peter and John were going up to the temple at the hour of prayer, the ninth hour. And a man lame from birth was being carried, whom they laid daily at that gate of the temple which is called Beautiful to ask alms of those who entered the temple. Seeing Peter and John about to go into the temple, he asked for alms. And Peter directed his gaze at him, with John, and said, "Look at us." And he fixed his attention upon them, expecting to receive something from them. But Peter said, "I have no silver and gold, but I give you what I have; in the name of Jesus Christ of Nazareth, walk." And he took him by the right hand and raised him up; and immediately his feet and ankles were made strong. And leaping up he stood and walked and entered the temple with them, walking and leaping and praising God. And all the people saw him walking and praising God, and recognized him as the one who sat for alms at the Beautiful Gate of the temple; and they were filled with wonder and amazement at what had happened to him.

There are plenty of things going on in the story: the disciples continue going out two by two as instructed in Luke 10:1, they go to the Temple for prayers daily, where they meet someone suffering much like the ones Jesus healed, here healed by his followers in his name, an act of the church in the power of the Spirit.

What intrigues me at the moment, however, is how a private and personal event such as healing is the power of God working within the community. Just as the healing stories of Jesus, this healing story impacts the community as much or more than it does the one healed.

It startles people. It introduces wonder and amazement, which are the first openings to faith.
It upsets the Powers That Be, who have a vested interest in the status quo, even if that means leaving the marginalized, the outcast, the sick and the poor as they are.
It reinforces the faith of the faithful.
It allowed a teachable moment, seen in Peter’s speech.
It fills the community of faith with the Holy Spirit so that they can speak the word of God with boldness, regardless of their credentials and authorization by the Powers That Be.

The healing, important and crucial in the life of the one healed, is also an act of new life that ripples out through the community, transforming it as well.

The Burning Bush and Pentecost, pt. 2

2009-07-29T16:59:00.001-04:00

There is a problem with the expectation of the lightning bolt or shaking of the world religious experience as normal is that it sets up some difficulties:

1. It is dangerous for the everyday nature of faith. It can make us miss the simple and the unextraordinary ways of grace. It denies more subtle discernment of life’s revelations. Some revelations hit like the right answer to a crossword puzzle clue about a half hour after setting the puzzle aside. Some moments of absolute ordinariness reveal amazing truths without fanfare or thunderclap.

2. Chasing mountaintop moments can become a goal in and of itself, rather than a means of entrance into more or better service or mission or ministry. Adrenaline junkies understand this problem too well.

3. If the lightening strike epiphany is seen as the only way people are moved and touched and sent by God, then without it, people of faith may feel unworthy or uncalled or unsent.

I say this as a person with a high opinion of the Holy Spirit working in life. It can be at work in ways far beyond and far simpler than a mountaintop moment or being struck blind on the road to Damascus.

The Burning Bush and Pentecost

2009-07-29T16:52:00.003-04:00

When we think about religious experiences, how do we understand them?

With our recent culture of distrust regarding institutions seen as normal and usual and important just a few years ago, and the growing trends of hyper-individualism, it is no surprise that individual spiritual experiences are not only seen as the epitome of religious occurrences, it is a growth industry.

In the Bible, we find no simple or easy line between singular and individual revelations and community transformations. While some instances seem to simply be the impact of one changed individual upon his or her community, surely a real impact, there is more going on in these instances.

Many important moments of the revealing of the divine are to individuals far removed from culture or society or others. The list is long, and this one is not exhaustive:

Abraham at the covenant moment with God,
Jacob’s dream when his family has gone on to the other side of the river,
Moses at the burning bush and at the top of Mt. Sinai,
both of the Josephs’ dreams,
Elijah in the cleft of the mountain,
the calling visions of Isaiah and Jeremiah,
Jesus at his baptism, in the wilderness, in the garden praying alone,
and Paul’s seemingly emblematic epiphany and conversion.

The paragon of community revelations would be Pentecost, as the whole company of believers is touched by the Holy Spirit. There are plenty of other moments which are evidence of God’s power and presence in the midst of the community: the sea parted, the manna and quail and water in the wilderness, the walls of Jericho.

But such distinctions between singular or communal miss an important point. When an individual has such a moment, such an epiphany or theophany, such a revelation, it is not for their own sake, not a commodity, not a commendation to go in their spiritual file, but for the sake of the community. These moments are a further entrance into greater service, witness, ministry, for the sake of the community.

For Paul, it was transformation and conversion for entrance into a mission to the Gentiles. For Moses, it was empowerment and instruction for leading the people from Egypt into new covenant, new freedom, and new life. For Elijah, Isaiah, Jeremiah and other prophets, it is the encouragement and empowerment to prophesy.

I recently heard a quote, “God has touched your life. I am so sorry!” Because when God touches someone’s life in the Bible, their lives are changed in ways they never expected or planned for.

So the purpose of revelation, whether isolated and individual like the Burning Bush, or in the midst of community like Pentecost, is for the sake of the community of faith. And the purpose of the community of faith is not for the putting down of the individual, but for the fulfillment of all people.

Reluctant Obedience

2009-07-27T11:54:00.006-04:00

There is a courage born of faith that is irrational, world-changing, unfathomable, and rare enough to stand out in the sea of going along to get along and looking out for number one. But how does such courage happen? I want to start by looking at what would appear to be its opposite, but rather is often its beginning: reluctant obedience.

While Abraham, nee Abram, was not particularly a pinnacle of morality, his obedience to God’s call was immediate.

Now the LORD said to Abram, "Go from your country and your kindred and your father's house to the land that I will show you. And I will make of you a great nation, and I will bless you, and make your name great, so that you will be a blessing. I will bless those who bless you, and him who curses you I will curse; and by you all the families of the earth shall bless themselves." So Abram went, as the LORD had told him; and Lot went with him.
Abram was seventy-five years old when he departed from Haran. (Genesis 12:1-4, RSV)

Abraham would have many faults, but one cannot say his obedience was reluctant.

What about Isaiah and Jeremiah and Jonah?

Isaiah is famous for many things: the readings of Advent and Lent, called by some “the Gospel of the Old Testament,” speaking peace to Jerusalem, being the best known of the prophets by the Christian church, perhaps as much for the song “Here I Am, Lord,” as for anything actually written.

When Isaiah receives his calling to be a prophet in the vision of the throne of God, he is struck by an immense dread (which may be as outdated a word as awe, but it is still a good one, and we ought to remember it).

He cries out:

“Woe is me! For I am lost; for I am a man of unclean lips, and I dwell in the midst of a people of unclean lips; for my eyes have seen the King, the LORD of hosts!"

What happens next brings us to that famous agreement to go forth as a prophet:

Then flew one of the seraphim to me, having in his hand a burning coal which he had taken with tongs from the altar. And he touched my mouth, and said: "Behold, this has touched your lips; your guilt is taken away, and your sin forgiven." And I heard the voice of the Lord saying, "Whom shall I send, and who will go for us?"

Then I said, "Here am I! Send me." (Isaiah 6:5-8, RSV)

Then there is Jeremiah.

First the Lord says,

"Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, and before you were born I consecrated you; I appointed you a prophet to the nations."

But Jeremiah, like Isaiah, is reluctant.

Then I said, "Ah, Lord GOD! Behold, I do not know how to speak, for I am only a youth."

Isaiah’s concern about not being good enough is echoed by Jeremiah’s fear of not being mature enough.

But the LORD said to me, "Do not say, `I am only a youth'; for to all to whom I send you you shall go, and whatever I command you you shall speak. Be not afraid of them, for I am with you to deliver you, says the LORD."
Then the LORD put forth his hand and touched my mouth; and the LORD said to me, "Behold, I have put my words in your mouth. See, I have set you this day over nations and over kingdoms,to pluck up and to break down, to destroy and to overthrow, to build and to plant." (Jeremiah 1:5-10, RSV)

Finally there is Jonah, of a much smaller book, but far more reluctant than either of our other examples. Jonah is called and sent, but will not go. It takes fish-belly time before he actually goes to his work. However, not even successfully preaching and seeing Nineveh repent removes Jonah’s reticence.

The difference between Isaiah and Jeremiah on the one hand, and Jonah on the other, is not whether they go and do what god has called them to do. However reluctant they have been, they have each done as God commanded. But where Jeremiah and Isaiah each protested their calling, Jonah ran from his. In Jeremiah and Isaiah’s protests, they are touched by the divine and they become the prophets they are called to be. Even in this becoming, there are differences. Isaiah proclaims, “Here I am, send me!” Jeremiah laments “there is in my heart as it were a burning fire shut up in my bones, and I am weary with holding it in, and I cannot.”

So there is no formula for obedience, reluctant or otherwise. There is, however, an interesting set of examples. We have Jonah, who is reluctant to the end, even to the point of lamenting his success. Isaiah and Jeremiah, whose experiences are both different and yet reminiscent of the other, each protest their calling and in that protest, in their vocal reluctance, there comes a moment of blessing, of burning away the barrier, of making it possible to see a way through.

So when we are reluctant about obedience in general, or more likely in the particulars, rather than running away, or silently lamenting our lot, we find that arguing with God can be far more productive. It may even be a prophetic form of prayer.

Unmetered Worship

2009-07-26T22:32:00.003-04:00

In the great debates over worship, the words "contemporary" and "praise" get used so often, we may well forget that when Luther wrote it, "A Mighty Fortress is Our God" was contemporary, and full of praise.

When I ask people what contemporary and praise mean in reference to music during worship, I receive answers running the gamut from uplifting, face-paced, and lively to simplistic, dumbed-down and shallow. My mother responded, "I guess it means that there are drums." As good a summation as any.

It occurred to me that most hymnals have a few indexes in the back, used only by those who pick hymns for worship. One of these little known resources is an index of meters for the tunes. There is a great and long-lived tradition of hymns being metered poetry set to music.

You remember metered poetry, don't you? It was the iambic pentameter that bored you to tears while studying Shakespeare. It is also the reason that most all of Emily Dickinson's poetry can be sung to "The Yellow Rose of Texas," and "Amazing Grace" can be sung to such tunes as House of the Rising Sun, Gilligan's Island, and Hernando's Hideaway. They share the same meter, and so they will fit the same tunes.

Protestant hymnody has developed such a library of metered hymns that those in the know can speak of Finlandia, Ash Grove, and Cwm Rhondda and know that these are not locations (as the names might suggest) but are rather the tunes we usually sing "Be Still My Soul," "Let All Things Now Living," and "God of Grace and God of Glory."

Other tune names derive from Latin texts from which they were translated, or they are named after the composer's favorite musician, or even after the psalm that was originally sung to the tune.

In the index of meters, we find such arcana as S.M., C.M., L.M, perhaps with a D. or a Ref, or a string of numbers. These are short-hand for Short Meter, Common Meter, Long Meter, perhaps Doubled, so the meter in question is repeated, or with a Refrain.

Of course there have always been songs listed as Irr. Pushed to the back of the index, if they are listed at all, these are the Irregulars. Some of them are well loved and oft-sung, such as "Adeste Fidelis," the tune of O Come All Ye Faithful. But they don't fit the metered poetry of proper hymnody. The name lets us know what is normal and what isn't.

Along come the guitar masses of the Roman Catholic 60's and 70's, the introduction in Protestant churches of such (then favorites, now unfortunately somewhat passe) songs as Morning Has Broken and Lord of the Dance, the second adapted from the Shaker Tune "Simple Gifts." Meter was replaced for the sake of singability and a new sensibility.

More recently came pop inspired music that followed the influences of the radio more than the chancel and the modern revival concert more than the staid and stolid sanctuary.

We still haven't found a good definition for contemporary or praise music or worship. Perhaps it simply means that both the liturgy and the music are unmetered.

So what will we do when the tunes and the worship become unmetered? How do we start to learn a new set of rhythms, a new set of music, a new way of doing things which are so different than all that we have trained so long to do?

Two answers.

1. The new stuff can be awfully fun.

2. With God, all things are possible.

Narrative and Defragmentation

2009-07-06T07:37:00.005-04:00

At the end of the first week of my sabbatical, I attended the General Synod of the United Church of Christ, the biennial gathering of delegates and visitors from the whole of the denomination, as well as guests from others. There were plenary sessions, amazing worship, as well as speakers and workshops and, of course, cookies.

Barbara Brown Taylor, one of our nation's most notable preachers and an Episcopal priest who now teaches at a small college in Georgia, spoke on "The Fate of Narrative in the Age of Twitter." No surprise, it was engaging, evocative, and thought-provoking. She listed three basic rules (from among a much longer list) regarding what stories she will allow to shape or influence her story, her narrative, her life.

1. Any story which she would allow to influence her story must honor and defend people not like her.

2. Any story which she will take to help make her story must allow her to argue with it. Those with prepackaged answers allowing for no deviation are unworthy of the task.

3. Any story worth being a part of her own story must level with her about the cost of love. It is not allowed to lie to her about the messiness of life.

As she related her take on narrative and the life-changing, life-giving and life-saving potential of narrative, including and especially Biblical narratives, she also related her forays into the world of e-mail, text, social networking and other new technologies. Through discussions with her students, she discovered the powerful connections they maintained with friends and loved ones through their cellphones. She soon discovered, whether a product of such technologies or her own "adult ADD," that so many technologies resulted in feeling personally fragmented, in addition to whatever benefit the connections provided.

As I was listening and taking notes, I jotted down in the margin of my paper, "Sabbath = defragmenting." If you are reading a blog, then you probably need no definition for defragmentation. It has come into our vocabulary through the ubiquitousness of the computer. We store our little bits of data, little parts of our programs, little pieces of our stories and our selves all over the place, and fairly soon we cannot retrieve all of them easily. Defragmenting is the computer's way of rightly ordering all of those bits, putting together those things which ought to be together, and gathering up the scattered.

Sabbath, resting, taking time apart from production and consumption, focusing on God, "sitting at the feet of the Lord like a cabbage" (as Julien of Norwich is credited as saying), playing, re-creating, these are ways of drawing the scattered and fragmented parts of ourselves back into who we are, so that we might be once again whole, and wholy present.

I then wrote the letters, "WCS" and an arrow to the words "Sabbath = Defragmenting." WCS is my own shorthand for "World Communion Sunday." Not that we need to, or can afford to, wait until the first Sunday in October to defrag ourselves, or even that communion is necessary for it to happen. But I will be back in the pulpit then, and one can never start too soon on a sermon idea.

Withdrawal

2009-06-23T21:56:00.002-04:00

So I am two days into a 90 day sabbatical from ministry, and I am experiencing withdrawal. So far I have missed a building committee meeting, a clergy support group, a Rotary meeting and a Bible study. I don't know how many fire calls may have happened, because I turned off the pager.

I can tell it is withdrawal because I know exactly how many things I have missed, and I miss them.

I am still in that part of the journey where I am looking backwards, which is very different than looking forward or being centered where I am.

I suppose this is a part of the process.

My Brain is Full. So is My Heart.

2009-04-23T22:04:00.003-04:00

So Monday and Tuesday, I spent 16 hours in a classroom with 30 other fire chaplains, trying to figure out what it means to be a fire chaplain.

So at the end of two days I have a new training manual, a new certificate (for the sake of those who thought I was certifiable, now I have a certificate!), and a brain full of stuff that will only start to make sense as I put it to use on scene.

One of the things I learned is that I am not the only one who feels overwhelmed by the calling to chaplaincy. There were 31 learners in that room, all of whom had some level of experience in ministry (some with much, much more than me), all of whom faced the uncertainty of the pager, the difficulties faced by those in the fire service, and the power of a calling.

The first lesson they started teaching us was that in order to be a chaplain one must have the heart of a servant.

The next lesson was the three qualities required for chaplaincy: kindness, compassion and forgiveness.

What amazes me is that the first lessons were not about techniques or protocols or theories of chaplaincy, but qualities and callings.

What amazes me is that the qualities of a chaplain are in fact the qualities Jesus asked (asks) of each of his followers: to have the heart of a servant; to practice kindness, compassion, and forgiveness.

Travelin' Mercies

2009-04-19T08:40:00.003-04:00

Tomorrow and the next day, I have 16 hours of chaplain training with the Federation of Fire Chaplains just outside of Indianapolis.

(I keep wondering when I will get over the feeling of "wow, this time last year, I didn't even know this existed.)

So I drove down to Indy on Friday, where I am staying with my wife's sister and her husband.

(Since I started with the parenthetical commentary, might as well continue. I married the sister of a college friend. This friend had herself married another good friend from college. So my in-laws are a class reunion of sorts. As Ms. Stewart would say, it's a good thing.)

On my way down here, I stopped in Ft. Wayne to get gas and a refill on the caffeine. After pumping the gas, I turned the key, and the starter did its thing, but the engine did not follow suit. Crank, crank, crank, nothing. So I called the Mrs., who is still up in Michigan, she gets me some pertinent numbers, and I called for help.

In the meantime, I am busy praying for some help, because I am stuck halfway between home and where I am headed, and this training isn't happening in a reasonable driving range again anytime soon.

The short version of the story is that the crankshaft sensor on the car was bad. Which means the timing on the valves and the pistons was off a bit, so that is why the mileage was down and the car was a little rough lately. When it gets bad enough and the engine is hot, the car shuts off so as not to damage the engine. It could have happened while driving, apparently. So being in a gas station was not a bad place to be. After it cooled off, I could start the car and get to the local dealership.

The cool thing about this story is trying to jump start the car before I knew what was wrong. I looked around for someone who might have a set of jumper cables. Lots of commuter types were pulling in and out of the station. But one gentleman caught my eye. He was a bit older than me, driving a pick-up truck, wearing a well-weathered "First Armored Division" shirt, and pumping gas into a plastic gas can. I went up and asked if he had jumper cables. He did, and pulled around to my car and we tried those.

As the cables were not working (because that wasn't the problem), another guy, younger, African American, and with an accent I couldn't place (it might have been Caribbean, might have been African), drove up with a jumpstart pack and offered it for my use.

I had two good Samaritans who helped me out. Unfortunately, I didn't know what the real problem was, so I was asking for help with stuff that had little to no effect. I still had to get to the dealership and still had to write a check much bigger than I had wanted to. But in the midst of economic downturns and all sorts of other troubles, two people were more than willing to help a stranger who was stuck halfway to where he was headed.

God is good. As are lots of people.

To Blog or not to blog....

2009-04-06T12:49:00.003-04:00

So several readers have gently nudged me with the question, "When are you going to post to your blog again?"

I have been thinking about starting a second blog, so there is one for chaplaincy and one for ministry. But if I can't get around to blogging on one, I have no business starting up a second one.

I was going to name it something like "Signal 7," which is the old radio code for "Return to Station" in our department. I liked it. It had something to do with everybody getting back from the scene safely, and it is often after we return to the station, after the accident or fire or medical call is over that I am chaplain to the fire fighters. But there is a band and a media company and a movie by that name, so it was already taken on blogspot. And if I am having trouble keeping up with one, I certainly don't need more than one server.

So instead, I am going to keep on plugging away at this one, combining local church ministry, chaplaincy, and other observations.

And I might get around to actually posting more often one of these days.

Learning the Rules

2009-01-31T02:01:00.005-05:00

Wow, I can actually remember how to post on my blog!

Sorry it has been so long. I've been busy. That's my story and I'm sticking to it.

So I have been a volunteer chaplain with our local fire department for a bit now, and I am doing a lot of on the job training, learning how the department works (very well, I might add), how I fit it (all right so far), and how things are done.

I have been making a list of the "Rules of Fire Chaplaincy," as they make themselves known.

Rule 1 - Stay out of the way.

I have a specific set of skills and an important role on the scene of an accident, a fire, or a medical manpower assist call. But I do not fight fires, I do not cut people out of cars, and I do not do CPR, so I stay out of the way of those who do. I arrive on scene and see where I fit into what is going on.

Corollary to Rule 1 - "Look, here comes the chaplain." "How can you tell?" "He shows up late and parks too far away!"

Second Corollary to Rule 1 - Wow, those big trucks make nice big ruts in the snow so it is much easier for me to drive to the scene. Thanks, guys.

Rule 2 - Don't park so far over in the garage, and back out slowly, no matter how urgent the call is.

This rule was made known when I was in a hurry the other night to get to a scene. I have been improving my personal response time, but now need to add more wisdom than speed. Which is the nice way to say I smashed the heck out of my passenger side mirror on the garage door frame the other night.

Rule 3 - Don't grab the first shoes available. Take the time to put on boots.

I have a fire jacket and a helmet, for the sake of safety and visibility on scene, but as Rule #1 applies, I don't have turnout boots and pants. But when we have 10-12 inches of snow, and the fire is at a house in the country, walking around in sneakers is a bad idea. I was okay until I got back in the car afterward, and all the ice which had formed around my ankles melted and ran down my socks.

Or as one Captain put it, "Time spent putting on cold weather gear is time well spent."

Rule 4 - Get plenty of sleep the night before a call.

This one gets more difficult with occasional insomnia, like now, when I am typing this at 2:40 in the morning. But it is important to get regular rest, because the pager doesn't keep a schedule.

Corollary to Rule 4 - get the sermon done early, because that regular time set aside for it may get interrupted.

I know there are more just waiting for me to learn them. I'll let you know when I discover them.

From the "Couldn't have said it better myself" file

2008-12-04T10:12:00.000-05:00

Law and Grace on the Way to the Pulpit: a sermon for preachers

Something to think about

2008-11-13T21:48:00.001-05:00

The most boring or boorish person you know has a story that will bring you more tears and joy than the finest Shakespearean play.

The most rude and difficult person you know has a struggle and pain that you wouldn't want to carry around.

Just something to think about.

Why am I not praying constantly?

2008-11-06T10:05:00.004-05:00

Pray constantly.

I am often praying for situations and people, sometimes at dedicated times, other times impromptu based on what is going on around me.

But last night, as I was sitting in on a women's prayer group that is starting up at our church (pastors often get to sit in on stuff where the categories of qualification are suspended), and they were talking about each woman praying for herself, that they might be transformed and help transform others, several thoughts occurred to me.

First, I have heard many women speak of the difficulty of doing for themselves what they would do without reservation for someone in their circle of care. I recognize this in other men and myself as well, but women are far more likely to articulate it, in my experience.

Second, praying for myself can feel selfish (to me, your mileage may vary) even when I do so out of fear, pain, exhaustion, worry, illness or any other condition where I would pray for someone else in that same condition without reservation.

Third, praying for oneself is not selfish unless it is done for selfish reasons. To use an example that grossly exaggerates the point: If I pray to win the lottery so I can always be comfortable, that is a more selfish prayer; If I pray to let God help me steward my resources for the betterment of those around me, that seems a much less selfish prayer. And yes, how I pray even that prayer may also reveal my motives as well.

Fourth, every Sunday as I get robed to lead worship, I pray "Lord, help me be the best minister I can be," as I put on my stole, the symbol of the office of minister in our denomination. In my brief time with these praying women, I was convicted with the realization that I should spend more time praying this prayer each day, not just right before show time.

Lord, help me be the best minister I can be.

And as I am praying that, I need to use other words in there, too. Help me be the best husband...friend...son...prayer partner...colleague...manager...chaplain...person...I can be. The list is as long as roles that I have in my relationships with others.

But for today, as I type from the office of the church, I am going to start where I am.

Lord, help me be the best minister I can be.
Amen.

A Moment in History, pt 2.

2008-11-05T08:43:00.002-05:00

An African-American woman, during some of the post-election coverage on television, said that her children will never know a world in which someone who looks like them could not be president.

It is hard for me, as a guy who has so little pigment in his skin as to be close to clear, shy my freckles, to understand how much this means to people of color. And yet, I feel it, too.

Part of what is going on is the end of an election cycle, when the country held its breath until the results come in.

Part of it is the end of a time in history when many in our country held their breath wondering if there would ever be more than historical changes and small, incremental changes in what is possible for people of color, and with that, all people, in our own lifetimes.

The pundits on both sides have already started spinning and twisting. But in this moment, the nation took a breath, stepped into a future that many saw impossible just a short time ago, and we are still breathing.

A Moment in History

2008-11-05T07:13:00.004-05:00

There have been several moments in my lifetime which I pray will be in my great-great-grandchildren's history books.

The Vietnam War will be there (I add this, even though I wasn't alive for all of it).

Perhaps the twin space shuttle disasters of 1986 and 2003 will be included, but probably not by the time several generations have passed. Such things, traumatic and overwhelming at the time, seem to be overshadowed by other events a century later.

The tearing down of the Berlin Wall in 1986 ought to make it. I also hope the image of the single man facing down a column of tanks in the Tienanmen Square demonstrations and protests of 1989 makes it in.

Certainly September 11, 2001 will be there.

With it, the twin Gulf Wars of 1991 and today will be mentioned.

The recent crash of investment giants might make it in, depending on how far-reaching their effects wind up being. This would be the problem of predicting the future view of history.

But today, I am writing about something that will be included beyond any doubt. The election of Barack Obama to be the 44th president of the United States is going to be in the history books as long as we have history books.

January 1, 1863, Lincoln issues the Emancipation Proclamation, freeing slaves in Confederate states.

December 6, 1865, the practice of slavery is abolished by constitutional amendment (#13).

February 1870, restrictions on the right to vote according to race is abolished by constitutional amendment (#15).

January 23, 1964, poll taxes, often used to intimidate African-American voters and unfairly bias elections, are abolished by constitutional amendment (#24).

In 1967, the Supreme Court unanimously rules that anti-miscegenation laws are unconstitutional. These were the laws in various states prohibiting mixed-race marriages, such as that of Barack Obama's parents.

November 4, 2008, by both popular and electoral vote in a record turnout year, Barack Obama becomes the president-elect of the United States of America.

This moment will be in my great-great-grandchildren's history books. For good reason.

Coolest. Wedding. Ever.

2008-10-06T07:12:00.002-04:00

I had the honor and privilege of co-celebrating a wedding this past weekend. A friend of mine whom I have known since the fourth grade (and we are not saying how long ago that was) got married, and his father, a Rev. Dr. Presbyterian, led us through most of the celebration. I was pleased to be asked to offer a few words, and the prayer of blessing on their marriage.

It helped that the weather in the hills of East Tennessee cooperated to be a perfect match for the reading of "An Appalachian Wedding" by Thomas Berry, read by one of the bridesmaids.

An Appalachian Wedding

Look up at the sky
the heavens so blue
the sun so radiant
the clouds so playful
the soaring raptors
woodland creatures
meadows in bloom
rivers singing their
way to the sea
wolfsong on the land
whalesong in the sea
celebration everywhere
wild, riotous
immense as a monsoon
lifting an ocean of joy
then spilling it down over
the Appalachian landscape
drenching us all
in a deluge of delight
as we open our arms and
rush toward each other
all of us moved by that vast
compassionate curve
that brings all things together
in intimate celebration
celebration that is
the universe itself.

-- by Thomas Berry

The leaves floated down off the trees just as the bride walked under them. The collection of bluegrass and jazz and rock and other genres of musicians, groom included, who graced the tent with music during the reception was outstanding.

Among the many elements of this particular wedding, seeing friends of long ago and again, being able to help officiate the wedding of ones dear to me, co-celebrating with my second dad (as it were), a setting so perfect, this will be a long-remembered moment.

Congratulations Greg and Paige. What a wonderful celebration of your love.

How Fast, O Spam?

2008-09-20T13:52:00.002-04:00

I am amazed at the speed of junk. I am not talking about the amount that accumulates in the basement or attic or on my desk. That no longer amazes me.

I went to open my e-mail, check messages, clear out the spam filter, and go on about my correspondence. I read some e-mails, sent a few off to others, sorted some church business, did a few more things. As I was about to sign out, I decided to go back and check my in-box one more time. To my astonishment, there were another 20 spam messages in the filter.

Why do we need to stay tuned to messages of hope, faith, joy and love, in other words, Good News? Because we are bombarded by bad messages, double-dealing offers, false promises, and other spam, both electronic and otherwise, all the time.

It also helps to have a good filter. On the e-mail as well.

Making Big Decisions 101

2008-09-19T11:01:00.003-04:00

So the other day a new opportunity arose. I was asked by the local fire department if I would serve as a volunteer chaplain. Apparently I didn't mess up too badly when I officiated the late Fire Chief's funeral, so they offered me the spot.

I took my time coming to a decision. Important decisions made hastily mean I usually miss something, often something important.

I talked with the stakeholders. I spoke with fire fighters on the department, the chief, assistant chief, a captain or two. I listened to church members. I talked with my wife. I compared notes with the other pastor at our church. I checked in with the clergy support group which meets weekly. And I prayed. Some of these folks have a stake in my ministry, the ministry of the church and the chaplaincy. Two have veto power.

I raised questions for me, the church, and the department to answer before I could move ahead with it.

I checked to see if I was making this decision as a way of avoiding something else, or out of current but temporary emotional needs.

I looked at the challenges and the unknowns about this chaplaincy, the requirements it would place on me, and decided that these were ways in which I could grow as a person and a pastor.

I went back and re-read the Ordained Minister's Code for the United Church of Christ, both as a reminder of what I am about, and to see how it would support such a chaplaincy.

After all of this, I went to the church governing body, and said I would like to pursue this new venture as a part of my ministry here. They voted to support me.

That's not a bad way to make a big decision. I ought to try it more often. Now if I could just pick what I want for lunch.....

Quotes from the Blogosphere

2008-09-17T10:57:00.002-04:00

"I arise in the morning torn between a desire to improve the world and a desire to enjoy the world. This makes it hard to plan the day." -E. B. White

"A life is either all spiritual or not spiritual at all. No man can serve two masters. Your life is shaped by the end you live for. You are made in the image of what you desire. " -Thomas Merton

“It does no harm just once in a while to acknowledge that the whole country isn't in flames, that there are people in the country besides politicians, entertainers, and criminals.” -Charles Kuralt

"We have all known the long loneliness, and we have found that the answer is community." -Dorothy Day

(Thanks to The Deacon's Bench for these four gems)

"Any Idiot can face a crisis. It's day to day living that really wears you out." -Anton Chekhov

"To be rooted is perhaps the most important and least recognized need of the human soul." - Simone Weil

"If you can't pray- at least say your prayers." -George Bernanos

(Thanks to Pastor Sarah for these.)

Charging into the 20th Century

2008-09-16T09:21:00.002-04:00

The other day, I did something I have never done before: pastoral counseling via chat. If you are reading a blog you are probably savvy enough to know that chat is like an on-line conversation, except you are typing to one another from computers.

Just when I thought I understood technology and its uses (good, bad and ugly), along comes an opportunity to help someone explore some important stuff in a whole new way. It lacked the face to face nature of sitting down with someone over coffee. It didn't have the tone of voice cues that a phone call would have. I don't think it will ever replace the other means at hand for communicating with and helping people. It does however remind me that just as scripture must be reinterpreted, the stories retold and re-received by the community of faith, we also need to find ways of keeping up with how people are communicating in order to do so.

When Someone Says it Better...

2008-09-11T11:37:00.002-04:00

Somewhere along the way I ran across this author, Scot McKnight, and his book The Jesus Creed. I will probably post about it soon. I haven't finished it yet. I then found his blog, and have added it to my list of recommended reading. We start at different points, and often end up at different points, but our thoughts often travel parallel paths in interesting and helpful ways (for me, anyway).

In light of the current presidential politics, the great changes each party promises, and the great sameness they threaten if "those other candidates" win, McKnight wrote an excellent statement about what our job is on November 5th, after all the precincts have reported in, and on January 20th, after the inauguration.

In short, our job as people of faith will be the same regardless of the outcome of the election. Our ministry and missions will be helped and hindered (in some ways differently and in some ways the same) by either candidate being elected.

This is not to say I don't have (strong) opinions about who should and who should not lead the country. It just means my answer will be given on a secret ballot, and I encourage you to do the same with your answer.

And then let's get on with the task of loving the world rightside up again.

About That Party....

2008-09-05T22:23:00.004-04:00

I just wanted to say a few things about that political party you like to lambast and make fun of.

They love America.

They are sincere in believing that what they are doing is for the good of the country. They may be right, they may be wrong, but they are not insincere.

They truly do believe that leadership matters.

They do things that you think are dirty pool or nasty politics, but they justify them as necessary to play the game. They accuse their opponents of using dirty pool or nasty politics as well.

They believe that a moral and proper government is the best way to run the country.

They want to see American families succeed.

They think this is the greatest country on earth.

They earnestly want to fix the faults they see in how things are done in communities, at the state level, and especially in Washington, DC.

They let their zeal for victory cloud their judgment about what the victory is for at times.

They have made mistakes. They will continue to do so.

They are seeking to appeal to their base and reach out to the middle ground at the same time, which can result in contorted and twisted looking shapes during speeches, and especially when we compare between speeches.

They have contradicted themselves, and will do so again.

In case you missed it, I did not say which party, other than the one you, dear reader, disagree with.* Truth be told, these statements are true of both major political parties.

This is not to say that they are the same, or that your vote doesn't matter.

It does.

Critically.

There are issues of issues, issues of leadership, of economic, military, and all sorts of other policies which are critical for our country. But let us look past mere partisan rhetoric and discern deeply how we choose to vote.

*I realize that some of you may disagree with both parties, all parties, or politics in general. Resolve yourself to know that I am addressing the majority for whom one party is the next savior of our country, while the other is clearly of the devil. You pick which is which.

Cultivating Silence

2008-09-03T10:53:00.003-04:00

As we enter the second round of the donkey and elephant shows, and the news, blogs, and conversations fill with who said what, who found out what about whom, and all the other juicy bits of gossip and grist of the political season, I want to take a moment to offers words about cultivating silence.

I think cultivation is the right word. It speaks of gardening, the long and laborious process of making the ground right in preparation for what it is you wish to grow, and then the pruning of what you don't want to grow.

Silence doesn't just happen.

Noise happens. Cars drive by, the cats whine for inexplicable reasons, the phone rings, family and friends and salespeople stop by, not to mention the background noise around us that we don't notice until a power outage and the deafening quiet that follows.

Downtime is no guarantee of silence. I turn on the TV, the computer, the radio. Or I busy myself with something.

Cultivating silence takes work.

And even in the silence, there is this little voice, part John Calvin, part Ethridge Knight, saying, "Man, why aren't you doing something?!"

Finding More Good Ones

2008-09-02T10:54:00.002-04:00

As I surf the Information Superhighway (which seems to always be a little under construction), I found another good one out there.

How would a former pastor choose a new church?

Found a Good One

2008-09-02T10:19:00.002-04:00

Searching through the blogosphere (how's that for a new word?), I found a great, and painful, story here.

Out of the mouths of babes, indeed!

Are We Communicating?

2008-09-02T09:59:00.002-04:00

I check the answering machine in the office, the voice-mail on my cell-phone, my church e-mail, the Mrs.' and my shared e-mail, my blog comments, open the mail, read what is interesting, pertinent or eye-catching, file the rest in people's mailboxes or the recycling bin, and after all that I wonder:

With all that we do to check on our communications, how do we have time to really communicate?

Cleaning Up

2008-08-30T20:44:00.004-04:00

So about a dozen or so folks showed up at the church this morning for a clean-up of the grounds and gutters of the church.

What is it about working side by side that lets folks talk and fellowship in ways that sitting around a table just doesn't do?

So as we cleared weeds, trimmed and cut trees, spread grass seed, used a leaf blower on the gutters (no thank you, I don't do heights!), and carted stuff off to the brush dump (not to mention partaking of some aMAZing coffee cakes during the break) something happened to remind us of one part of what church is: people gathering together, working at our own best pace, sharing the joy of each other's company, to make the community a little better.

Thanks All!

Twenty Days Out - I was off gaming

2008-08-28T08:17:00.003-04:00

So I finally get back to my blog and I see that it has been twenty days since my last post. Oops.

Part of what took me away was GenCon. For those who don't know, it is an annual gathering of somewhere north of 25,000 people at the Indianapolis Convention Center for the purpose of games. There are card games, board games, role-playing games (both pen and paper & live-action), miniatures games (Napoleonics and American Civil War, World War I biplanes, WWII tanks and infantry, futuristic settings), electronic games, seminars and workshops on making and publishing games, as well as ones on writing and publishing fiction.

The dangerous part is when they turn the exhibition hall of the convention center into a massive game store, with booths selling every type of game imaginable. My wallet often whimpered.

This convention was started in Lake Geneva, Wisconsin, forty-one years ago, in the garage of one of the innovators of Dungeons and Dragons, the late Gary Gygax. It was called the Geneva Convention. Since there was already one of those, they called it GenCon for short.

I have played games my whole life. As a child it was Candyland, Conentration and Jack Straws. Later, my family often gathered around Scrabble, Boggle, Big Boggle (we are a wordy bunch), Pictionary and Trivial Pursuit. I started playing Dungeons and Dragons in the fourth grade and have enjoyed it and other role-playing games for many years. More recently games like the Ticket to Ride series, Memoir '44, Apples to Apples, or TransAmerica have become favorites.

Why games, and what do games have to do with faith or ministry?

First, they are fun. They can be social events and recreational. Play Apples to Apples with a group and try not to laugh at some of the cards played, I dare you.

Second, they are challenging. Many really good games are strategic puzzles to work through, opportunities to do problem solving without the stress of being real-life problems.

Third, they are educational. Sometimes the game itself teaches something, and sometimes the mechanics of the game help the players learn resource management and the importance of good choices. One of the seminars I took this year was on game design, as I am trying to put together games to help teach the Bible and the faith to kids and adults.

Fourth, they engage and stretch the imagination. Role-playing games allow people to play a character as much like or dislike themselves as they wish. Pictionary and Scattergories work the part of the brain that makes connections, recognizes patterns, or comes up with new ways of seeing or describing something. Even a game of chess requires the mind to go through possibilities of "what if?"

So that took a few of the days while I was gone. And a vacation usually takes twice as long to recover from than the time off. But I hope to post more frequently soon. I'll also let you know how the game design is going.

Why I Love Comedians

2008-08-08T10:34:00.002-04:00

Saying I love comedians is a gross generalization. There are plenty that I don't find funny, that I hear as either inane or offensive. But as a general group, I love comedians. I guess I am kind of like Linus van Pelt, of Peanuts fame, who declared, "I love mankind, it's people I can't stand."

I love comedians for several reasons. As one could guess from the name of the blog, I love to laugh. Laughter is good. But I love comedians because we are in the same business. I don't mean entertainment, or making people laugh, or being in front of crowds speaking (although there are great correlations there).

In no particular order, comedians do the following things that are important to preaching (in my own humble estimation):

They use various combinations of skillful timing, well turned phrases, gestures, body language, eyes and facial expressions to help get across their point (or joke or story or whatever it is), so that a connection is made with the audience, which is what all preachers hope to do with their congregations.
They take the ordinary parts of life and flip them on their heads, a very Gospel way of doing things.
They take the taboo, dirty, unseemly, "we don't talk about those things" parts of life and they rub our noses in them. Seems strange for a pastor to like this, and I don't mean it in a prurient way. What they often accomplish is popping the balloon of our own personal and social hypocrisies, a very Prophets way of doing things.
They take the difficult and painful parts of life, expose them to some fresh air, and offer some catharsis, a very Psalms of Lament way of doing things.
They make us think about life in new and different ways, a very Letters of Paul way of doing things.
They often find a way to turn their own pain, grief, and difficulties into laughter, a very Psalms of Praise, Prophets, Gospel and Letters of Paul, okay most of the Bible, way of doing things.

So thank you to all the comedians who have taught me timing, encouraged me to be a fool for God, helped me defuse anxiety and get across difficult lessons to people through humor and laughter, and made my day better.

Praying and Laying on Hands

2008-08-06T14:35:00.003-04:00

I got a phone call from a church member the other day. She asked me, "What does our church think about laying on hands?" Not the usual conversation starter. I told her that while it isn't something we do often, it isn't too strange for us to do, either.

After some more discussion about the hows and the whens, we looked at inviting people who wanted to receive special prayer and those who wanted to offer special prayer to stick around after worship in the sanctuary as everyone else went down to coffee hour. We did it and the response was wonderful.

About 10 or so people wanted special prayer, and about a dozen or so wanted to offer prayer (or were waiting for their spouse who was receiving, so they stayed and prayed as well). Those asking for special prayer formed a ring (not really a circle, because the area at the front of the church wouldn't allow for proper geometry), holding hands or doing the one-armed hug with their neighbors. Those wishing to pray formed a ring around the inner group, with their left hand on the shoulder of the person next to them, and their right hand on the shoulder of the person in the inner ring in front of them.

I offered a prayer, inviting God's Spirit, remembering God's love in the touch of our neighbor, and other things that seemed appropriate in the moment.

We did this again the following week, and it was well attended and well received again. What was missing was a box of tissues. Several people had tears in their eyes afterwards, both those praying and those receiving.

So now we are exploring some other traditions of healing within our faith that can be done in such a setting.

What amazing things happen when someone gets a little inspiration, passes it on to someone else, and they act on it!

Why Sideways?

2008-08-01T20:11:00.002-04:00

I get the feeling that more often than not, I come at scripture sideways, at least from the comments and funny looks I get from colleagues in the ministry.

To be honest, head on orthodoxy gives me a queasy feeling.

And so often, too often, the Gospel makes us look again at our lives and our world from an upside down or sideways angle. So coming at scripture sideways, for me, means doing to it what it keeps doing to me.

And aren't we supposed to be doers of the Word, and not merely hearers?

Tom Waits

2008-08-01T10:40:00.005-04:00

To say Tom Waits is an interesting musician, songwriter or actor is to understate the case.

Some of you may remember him singing "A Little Drop of Poison" as the piano playing Capt. Hook in the bar run by the ugly step-sister in Shrek 2. Or you might have seen him in his uncredited role as the disabled vet in the station in The Fisher King.

As many have pointed out, his lyrics are often more spiritual than his gruff exterior and gravel pit enunciation would suggest. Here is one of my current favorites. Thanks, Brandon, for the suggestion a while back.

You Can Never Hold Back Spring

You can never hold back spring
You can be sure that I will never
Stop believing
The blushing rose will climb
Spring ahead or fall behind
Winter dreams the same dream
Every time

You can never hold back spring
Even though you've lost your way
The world keeps dreaming of spring

So close your eyes
Open you heart
To one who's dreaming of you
You can never hold back spring
Baby

Remember everything that spring
Can bring
You can never hold back spring

A Break in the Preaching Stuff

2008-07-25T10:57:00.001-04:00

Okay, enough with the sermonizing stuff for a moment.

I found another writer who shares the idea of faith laughing here.

Preaching pt.5 - Assumptions

2008-07-25T10:48:00.001-04:00

N.T. Wright warns the preacher and teacher of the Gospel to never overestimate how much people know about the Bible or the faith, and never underestimate their ability to learn.

'Nuff said.

Preaching pt. 4 - The Congregation's Imagination

2008-07-24T22:45:00.005-04:00

I was warned in seminary about the desire to impart knowledge as if we could unscrew the top of someone's head, pour in the information, and then screw the top back on. The warning was simple, it doesn't work.

So the art, rarely science, of preaching Good News requires the preacher to invite the imagination of the congregation into the process of preaching the sermon.

Rumi, the great Sufi poet, says of how reading poetry feeds the soul, "Actually, friend, what you're eating is your own imagination." When a sermon feeds the soul, is it not the same?

If the sermon simply seeks to impart knowledge, state facts, or exhort behavior, it will typically fall flat. If, instead, the preacher can evoke some image from the imagination of the congregation, if those in the pews can find their story being woven into the story being told, if their journey is acknowledged and honored in the journeys of the sermon, then a connection is made and something new is born of their imagination.

Inspiration and imagination are intimately linked.

Insomnia stinks

2008-07-24T09:29:00.001-04:00

I think the title of this entry speaks for itself.

No more caffeine after lunch.
No more caffeine after lunch.
No more caffeine after lunch.
No more *yawn* Zzzzzzzzzzzz.

What is Preaching pt. 3

2008-07-23T15:56:00.003-04:00

So exploring preaching (or as I like to say, procrastinating writing the sermon for this week), on a blog called faithlaughs, means I probably need to talk about humor.

Trying to describe humor is a terrible idea. If you have to explain the joke, it isn't funny.

But I think humor is necessary for preaching. Humor does several things at once. It ties together things that normally don't go together. It interrupts the usual view of the world and turns things on their head. In the form of clowns and parody and satire, humor takes ordinary things and blows them all out of proportion, sometimes showing us what we were not able or willing to see otherwise.

Such interruptions of normal life are not incongruous with the Bible.

I Corinthians 1:26-29 - (NRSV)

Consider your own call, brothers and sisters: not many of you were wise by human standards, not many were powerful, not many were of noble birth. But God chose what is foolish in the world to shame the wise; God chose what is weak in the world to shame the strong; God chose what is low and despised in the world, things that are not, to reduce to nothing things that are, so that no one might boast in the presence of God.

Rome doesn't stand a chance against such holy humor.

In preaching, humor breaks the seriousness which often infects and deflects the joy of our connection with creation, one another and God. If it is done well, humor interrupts our business-as-usual thinking that lets us settle for tomorrow being much the same as today.

I am also convinced that people learn more while laughing. We tend to be more open to learning while laughing, even if what we are learning what we have gotten wrong.

How I Do That, pt. 2

2008-07-23T10:15:00.003-04:00

As I think about preaching, a few things come to mind.

Walter Brueggemann (and you should get used to reading that name often around here) counsels preachers to "stick close to the text."

I am sure that means different things to different preachers and readers of the Bible. For me it means following internal references in the stories to other Biblical stories, letting the stories speak for themselves, not assuming everything in the Old Testament is simply there as a pedestal on which to place the New Testament, and trying to find how to connect with what the story meant to those who heard it first (an impossible, but necessary, task).

This leads me in often opposite and sometimes conflicting directions. Letting the story speak for itself can mean drawing in other stories. Letting an Old Testament story have its say about the way of God without making it only a pre-frigurement of Christ, but also always having the lens of the Gospel as the means of understanding what is going on.

So staying close to the text for me means working and breathing and living in the paradoxes of scripture. Sometimes they are dissonant chords, sometimes minor or major, sometimes they resolve, and sometimes they do not.

How Do I Do That?

2008-07-22T10:11:00.005-04:00

I don't know how I do what I do, and that bothers me.

This may be the final polish on the plaque that declares that I am a nerd, but I want to understand things. I especially want to understand how it is that stuff works. And it seems even more important to me to know how it is that I am doing what I do.

The mystery in question is preaching.

I know why I am preaching, or at least I have palatable answers for me and for others when the question arises.

Why do I preach? In no particular order:

They pay me to, and after all it is a big part of my job.
I enjoy it. For someone who hated to do homework, I love having study and an oral presentation each week.
As Walter Brueggemann says much better than I do, we are a narrative people, and we live by stories. (See here for Brueggemann's description of how this works.) These stories (Torah, Gospel, Law and Prophets, the stories of faith in ordinary lives) are far better than the stories of Rome, or Washington, DC, or any other empire on earth.
As the Rev. Dr. Dow Egerton used to say to us in preaching class, "I love to tell the story for those who know it best seem hungering and thirsting to hear it like the rest..."

But how does it work?

I read the scriptures in the lectionary for the week, and sometimes an idea hits me then.

Sometimes I have two or three false starts.
Some weeks I realize I am writing several different sermons and need to pick only one to preach.
Some sermons start as a spark from something I read or heard or overheard or watched.
Some come all at once and my fingers and the keyboard have trouble keeping up, and some are like building a small model where you have to leave it alone time and again for the glue or paint to dry, only to come back later, add a few pieces and leave it again.
Some get typed up fairly quickly, and then sit to ferment for a few days, so I can come back and distill what is good out of the mix.

It is a strange and unruly thing to do something week after week, and to be told I do it fairly well, and still have no clue how it is done.

Three Movies about the Self

2008-07-21T14:10:00.003-04:00

In short order, the Mrs. and I saw three movies about the same thing, more or less. Penelope, Wanted, and Kung-Fu Panda all three deal with becoming who one really is.

The first, Penelope, is the story of a curse woman, born with the snout of a pig, to pay for the sins of a previous generation. Only when one of her own kind loves her til death do they part will the curse be lifted. It is a well told tale with many classic elements of a fable, done right.

The second, Wanted, is eye candy of the violent sort. It has several commendable qualities, and I wanted to like it. But it relies too heavily on the myth of redemptive violence to set things right for my taste.

Kung-Fu Panda is a joyful romp of an animated movie. The voice casting is brilliant, the animation incomparable, the humor, action and comedy well timed and well done.

So I can clearly recommend the first and the last highly. The middle one not so much.

All three have clear statements about what it means to be oneself in a world that so wants people to be the conglomeration of other's opinions and what we assume about ourselves.

Bucket Ride

2008-07-19T19:26:00.004-04:00

I don't have a bucket list, but I did get a bucket ride. Yesterday, I officiated at the funeral of a long-time and influential former Fire Chief of our little town. He brought our local fire department out of the age of ladders and gaggers and into the age of aerial and snorkel trucks and proper self contained breathing apparatus.

It was a very moving service, with gifts of remembrance from family members, including his son, who succeeded him as chief. Members of fire departments from about a dozen or so communities in our county came in to take part in the funeral detail. This was my first time with the traditions of the fire department for a funeral, and it is as tight-knit a community as I have ever met. The final alarm for the chief was one of the most moving moments I have ever experienced in a funeral service.

The trip to the cemetery was another first for me and for the department as well. A well-built, handmade platform rig was placed just behind the bucket of the snorkel truck. The casket was placed on it, and strapped down for the ride. I rode in the bucket with one of the sons, also a firefighter, in a procession that led past the fire station, where the bell was rung 50 times, once for each year of the man's service to the department.

Resquiat in Pacem

The Joy of Worship

2008-07-16T10:42:00.006-04:00

As usual, Frederick Buechner says it so better than I do:

Phrases like Worship Service and Service of Worship are tautologies.* To worship God means to serve him. Basically there are two ways to do it. One way is to do things for him that he needs to have done - run errands for him, carry messages for him, fight on his side, feed his lambs, and so on. The other way is to do things for him that you need to do - sing songs for him, create beautiful things for him, give things up for him, tell him what’s on your mind and in your heart, in general rejoice in him and make a fool of yourself for him the way lovers have always made fools of themselves for the one they love.

A Quaker Meeting, a Pontifical High Mass, the Family Service at First Presbyterian, a Holy Roller Happening - unless there is an element of joy and foolishness in the proceedings, the time would be better spent doing something useful. (Wishful Thinking: A Theological ABC, pp. 97-98)

All I can add is amen.

*Yeah, I had to look up tautology, too. It means an unnecessary repetition, where two different words meaning the same thing are used together.

Wow, you look.....

2008-07-14T12:12:00.002-04:00

This past weekend was my *cough mumble* year high school reunion. Friday night was bowling, which meant that the gregarious could congregate, and the shy could focus on the pins, and everyone seemed to have a good time. There was a whole lot of catching up, lots of "Oh my goodness, how are you?" in the fine southern tradition. Surprisingly there was not a whole lot of posturing or "how successful I am" stuff that I hear plagues some reunions. Maybe it has been enough years that we are all pretty comfortable in our skins. Maybe we actually grew up.

One person said that I looked so much the same he would have recognized me on the street. I'm still not sure if that is a good thing or not.

Saturday morning the Mrs. and I begged off the official events and went to a small gathering of one of the groups I hung out with, where there was coffee and fresh, homemade cinnamon rolls. They were flaky, with just enough cinnamon, some with raisins, some with craisins, some with orange glaze, some with chopped almonds, some with...

Well, you get the idea. I would hate to insult the cook, so I sampled a lot of them.

That night was the main gathering. The music was all from our senior year. The food was fabulous. But what was really cool was seeing the people and finding out what was going in their lives.

I lost count of the number of attorneys from our class, serving in every capacity from legal aid to federal prosecutor. There were teachers, from 3rd grade to high school to college, in the class.

When we recognized the attendees that have served or are serving in the military, about a dozen came forward, and another half dozen names got called out for those who are deployed elsewhere or otherwise unable to make it.

They called forward all the clergy from our class, and since I used a picture of me in the collar on the website, they knew I was one. There were about a half dozen total.

The best part was reconnecting with people I haven't seen in *cough mumble* years. Some look different. Some are just the same. Now we just need to follow through with our promises to keep in touch more often.

So what have you been up to....

2008-07-08T08:15:00.002-04:00

Coming off a fabulous family reunion, now I am getting ready for this coming weekend and a high school reunion. A few of these folks I have seen just about every year since graduation. Some I have caught up with occasionally. Most I haven't seen at all over the past *mumble cough* years. One classmate I met again because her parents joined the church I serve, only three states away from where we all were those many years ago. Cue the puppets for that "Small World" song.

For all its faults (and that's a post for another day), one of the great things the Internet has done is allow for reunions to create websites, so everyone can post then and now pictures, say what we have been up to since that day of cardinal colored mortarboards flying into the air at the football field, and reconnect before we meet in person.

Some graduates are working in TV and movies, either in front of the camera or on the effects behind the scenes. Some have stayed home and have bought the family business. Others have been there and back again, with family or military or schooling or careers, or interesting combinations thereof.

Of course, I have some trepidation. High school was not the easiest time, so not all the memories have a golden tone to them. Some friends I used to hang out with every weekend I haven't seen more than twice in the interim. With the trepidation, I am also excited. Some of these people were once very dear to me. In reconnecting with some recently, I discovered that the years of adventuring elsewhere has led to some great stories, but we are mostly still the same folks we were, and the friendship resumed easily.

All of this rambling is to say that I am trying to go into the reunion with fewer expectations, letting people be who they are, just being myself, enjoying getting to see everyone again.

I'll let you know how it goes.

Shall we gather at the river....

2008-07-06T15:08:00.004-04:00

Shall we gather at the river,
The beautiful, the beautiful river....

Over the fourth of July (Happy Birthday, America!), we had a family reunion in the hills of East Tennessee, about an hour from where I was bred and buttered, as a friend used to call it. On the fifth of July, we drove to the river, and I finally baptized some of my family. I say finally not because of trepidation or backsliding on their part, but because I haven't seen them for way too long, and so my promise to baptize them had been delayed.

Jordan river, chilly and cold;
It chills the body, not the soul....

We were an assortment of people, family all, but several different shades of skin color, lots of different ages, and even several different church backgrounds and so several different baptismal theologies. A Catholic priest friend of mine calls that kind of gathering "a dress rehearsal for heaven."

One young man was of age to make the decision for himself, and was dunked in the good Baptist tradition of his family. Three others were between the age of not using all her words to about to go into kindergarten, for whom water in the shape of the cross on the forehead was proper for their families. And the little ones didn't like the idea of getting dunked in that cold water, even though they splashed around in it afterwards. The late entry to the ceremony was a brother-in-law who is about my age (we aren't naming years, friends).

So here we were, a variegated collection in most every category, standing in a chilly mountain river or safe and dry on shore, being baptized in various ways at various ages or witnessing to their baptism.

There is a privilege to my profession in being present when the Holy Spirit shows up. There is something just right about a group of people who love each other, and who have loved each other through times both good and difficult, gathering for the blessing of children (of whatever age!). And as I walked to each one, whether they were standing on their own or carried in a parent's arms, there was something sacred about that moment.

And there was something precious about the children splashing in the water after their baptism, getting more comfortable, wading in the same water that moments before was "tooooo coooooold." My prayer for each of them is to get more comfortable in that water, to learn to splash, or to swim, or to simply float and rest in the love of God.

....Wade in the water,
God's gonna trouble the water....

Franciscan Benediction

2008-07-02T11:02:00.003-04:00

There is something in me that makes me research stuff when I start new projects. I am an academic at heart. I just never liked homework. So I started reading other blogs, especially those of other UCC pastors, and I ran across a great prayer shared in worship in June at Orchard Ridge United Church of Christ.

They call it a Franciscan Benediction:

May God bless you with discomfort at easy answers, half truths and superficial relationships, so that you may live deep within your heart.
May God bless you with anger at injustice, oppression, and exploitation of people,
so that you may work for justice, freedom, and peace.
May God bless you with tears to shed for those who suffer from pain, rejections, starvation and war, so that you may reach out your hand to comfort them and turn their pain to joy.
And may God bless you with enough foolishness to believe that you can make a difference in the world, so that you can do what others claim cannot be done. Amen.

That's the kind of foolishness that helps faith laugh.

Why "Faithlaughs?"

2008-07-02T09:57:00.002-04:00

So there I sat, starting my first blog, faced with the important decision: By what name will this blog be known? I was trapped between the rocks of "gotta come up with a name no one else is using" and "how do I know this will be right for my thoughts, my congregation, my future posts?"

So I typed a few possible monikers in, and found that however profound they might have been, they were taken. I came up with one that was not claimed, but was way too long for anyone to type it in if they wanted to look me up. (Maybe that would not be such a bad thing. We shall see.)

As I fretted over this strange combination of "dear diary" and "this will be seen by the world," I sat back, took a breath, and "faith laughs" came to mind. It fits. It fits my preaching, my style of leadership, my belief in the idea that seriousness can kill, and it fits my congregation.

There are so many things to laugh about. For example, when I typed the first sentence of this post, my browser underlined blog as a word it didn't recognize. That's funny.

I don't expect this to be a humor site. But I do try to come at life and scripture and ministry and most everything else sort of sideways. And I love the stories of laughter in the Bible, in my family, and in the world.

So I guess I'm stuck with the name for now. Faith laughs. I like it.

Getting started

2008-07-01T23:20:00.001-04:00

The first thing on the to do list is to finish the list...

I realize that even though I grew up with a computer in the house, back in the days of the Apple II+, with the upgrade to the startling 48k memory (all together now, "oooooooh"), and having a computer or two around me most of my life, technology and on-line communities are changing so rapidly that I feel like I am starting after the race is over. But as part of a church diving recklessly into the late 1800's, I thought it was time I started blogging. The beauty of a week's vacation coming up is that I might even figure out some things to blog about.

Or I may just sit back, relax with a new book or two, and enjoy seeing my family again.

The second thing on the to do list is pack....